… Of Failed Plans and Expectations

My Story

I am preparing for my Bar finals, and I usually plan how and what I would read for the day. However this past couple of days, I found it hard to stick to my plans. Its either I feel sleepy or tired when I am reading a course or I just realise that I am barely able to meet up with my plans for the day. This applies to the week too. My week goals has not been reached. I was so discouraged that I got pissed at reading and rebelliously turned to gisting (all the while feeling guilty for not spending my gisting time Reading) and eventually burying my face under my pillow and wallowing in my misery. I even slept in guilt.

My Fallen Dominoes

Photo credit: Shutterstock

I am not a perfectionist but I love to make plans. However, there are times when my plans are thrown off.

It’s like carefully arranging a pile of coins or dominoes carefully and suddenly one gets removed from the middle. The other piles fall because the order in which it has been arranged has been disrupted.

That’s how I watch my plans fall around me some times and it destabilises my other plans because now I am suddenly confused and frustrated. I thought I had it all together before, but now I don’t. I stare at the fallen pile hopelessly and I have no idea where to start again.

Times like this, it’s really hard for me to get back on track I am really discouraged. But there’s only one tip for me…

Start from Where you left off.

I have lost time being discouraged and frustrated. Doing nothing but staring at mess that I call plans. however, I realise that sooner than later, I have to do and start what I am discouraged with.

I might be discouraged and angry at my fallen plans, but sooner than later, I have to pick up from where I left off. I have decided that even if I feel discouraged and frustrated with my messed up plans, I am going pick up from where I stopped and start again. While we cannot help what we feel at times, we can decide not to wallow in them . thank God for the gift of men, but I have realised “learning to encourage one’s self ” is also a life skill.

P.S. This post was written in 2019 glory to God and I passed my exam was called to the Nigerian Bar that same year .I am grateful to God for how much I have grown emotionally. I tell you a secret for free though 😉” my life is currently out of balance”and I started to feel “ashamed” but, I have refused to stay in it. I pray, I talk to those who I know can give me sound counsel and I am still actively engaging my faith. I am standing on shaky feet but I refuse to stay down. That’s my secret.

I pray you find strength when you need it. May you also find grace to extend support to those who need it.

That’s about it for today and thanks for visiting.

Keep Blooming 💞