I can’t count the number of times I have had to tell myself “Girl mind your business”this past couple of days.
You want to know why? I will tell you anyway 😉
I am currently reading a book titled Battle field of the mind by Joyce Meyer. I highly recommend it. It has been really helpful for me.
Back to my story, I read a part about judging others and I read it faithfully.
I also concluded that I am not a judgy person.
Haha, I lied to me. Since the past two days after I read this part, I believe I have been convicted severally.
I never had to say it out but I have noticed things, had conversations in my head and eventually reached a conclusion about a person’s action that is not my business.
I realise what I often judge is the difference in us. Sometimes it’s because I think the person could do it better or do it my way.
To judge is also to feel more righteous than the other. ” Like I would never do that” ” She is not good homemaker” ” He is a bad husband”
Yes they say the fact speaks for itself, but it is the fact we are privileged to see. Being in the legal profession made me appreciate this more. A Judge would reach a conclusion and make a judgement based on the assessment of all the facts and testimonies presented before him or her.
I think the human nature is even deeper. A person has a lifelong configuration within him/her that leads to their present state. You take into consideration their childhood upbringing, environment, personal experiences etc. Those are things that shape a person’s present state.
To judge a person is to take into account those factors that led to their present state which in fact I do not know.
Another question to ask is “if I walked in their shoes and ran their race,would I have been better ?”
I am learning that I would always see and notice things however, I can choose not to pass judgement.
Instead of judgment, I can learn compassion, I can offer help, and most of all, I can mind my business.
The exception to the above rule would be if I were to be put in a position where I would have to adjudicate a matter like an earthly Judge or maybe as an elder to settle an issue.
However we should put in mind that this kind of judgment is not condemnation. It’s it rather taking a stand and making effort to set things straight between two or more humans.
What I am learning right now is if I can’t help or if my help is not required, then it’s not my business.
I am learning not to judge/ condemn “different”. People can do things their own ways. I don’t necessarily have to agree with what you do or how you do it.
In so many words, I just told you about my recent business of minding my business.
P.S I wrote this post a while ago. Last year actually.
Thanks for reading
8 thoughts on “It’s not my business”
Sound reasoning, Lade. If everyone will sweep in front of his compound, the world will be a clean place for all to live. If we are not in other’s shoes, we surely don’t know where it pinches the most. It’s okay to sift through things and take a stand. But to pretend like we are the best judge of morals will do us no good.
I love the proverb you used in driving home your point. So true. Thanks for the comment
Quite an insightful write! I’m guilty of being a judging person too – while I don’t openly talk like that, I almost constantly have an internal monologue that seems to be judgemental at its core.
“Another question to ask is “if I walked in their shoes and ran their race,would I have been better ?”
This is so true – a change of perspective can make a huge difference!
I can totally relate with the internal monologue thing as I am always observing things and people 😃. Thanks for the visit Deepthy. Out of curiosity, are you indian- your name sounds like it
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Haha, same! My pleasure!
Yes, I am an Indian!
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Lade, thanks for sharing this post. I needed a reminder that “if my help is not required, then it’s not my business.”
I’m by nature or giftedness a helper, a good character trait in itself. But damages can occur when the other person does not want to be helped. That is when I must learn to let the Holy Spirit do his work restraining myself with, “it’s not my business or responsibility.”
Hummm, your comment got me thinking. It must hurt to sincerely want to help and to realise your help is not appreciated. You hit the nail on the head when you said and I paraphrase, ” we must let the holy spirit lead us instead of our emotions”
It reminded me of a situation where I met someone who I thought was in lack – actually a middle aged woman who was well dressed and acted like she was stranded at the bus stop, she met me for help and I gave her some amount of money, only for me to later realize that she is a corporate beggar.
Thanks for the comment❤️
I always said, You should walk a mile in another’s shoes before judging him. That way, when he gets mad at you, you’ll have his shoes and a mile head start! 😂
Seriously, though. not condemning another person without really knowing all that their decisions entailed is a valuable principle Jesus taught: “Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matthew 7:1) Probably the best known verse in the entire Bible across all cultures.
However, verse 2 follows: “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
And verse 6 creates a conundrum: “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” How do you do THIS without making a “judgement?”
Obviously, the key is in verse 2. Judge with mercy and understanding, carefully with correct measures, but do not close your eyes to the reality that some people are not good, and be careful around such.
Thanx for a great blog! c.a.